Tuesday, July 10, 2018

GODHATERESSS

TsPx WORKSHOP see if you can decode my garbage notes in to a workshop big hit at parties and tr!nny summer camp TRANNY PUNK DEATH FUCK SUMMER CAMP 006 THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL NOTES. i am trying to write a motherfucking workshop in an hour and a half LINKS TO OLD MATERIALS THE TRANS PUNK UNDERGROUND CATASTROPHY NETWORK BUILDING COMMUNITEE AND MUTUAL AID PEER SUPPORT WHILE BEING A FUCKED UP LIL A-SOCIAL COUNTERCULTURE FALLOUT DIRT BAG AND ALSO TRANS last year two ago ! tranny con 2005 program origional workshop plan crap. complete itinerary of the trans punk perspective workshop 2005 old outdated attempt to explain the trans-punk equation that i never was happy with !! i can do better now but i dont have time. trans outsider identity rant that birthed the seeds of the workshop TRANNYS ARE PUNK DAEMONS fetishising evil trannys are tokens of the queers--- really old. man o man... the worst part of blogging is that you can go back 2 years ago and see how you used to be a lil more fucked up and dumb and uncertain... and that other people can see it too cuz its the internet. fortunatly... the internet is way to big to bother reading all yer year old crap... only the most devoted cyber stalker would try... unless you go posting links to it... eating some shitty lil kids lunch box !!! fuck fuck fuck fuck... i totally have no time to do this... i even stopped having sex on drugs with gunther for a night and sent him off to go get wasted and get in to fights with his dumb ass white trash drunk boys crew... i gotta pack a tent and do dishes... i got no times to plan this crap. eeeeek. i'll write it out on a napkin... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx new topics of discussion we came up with this year -counter culture is a ghetto -opression VS. outsider pride // the balance -mental illness as component to outsider status -am i fucked up cuz im trans or trans cuz im fucked up most of the above things are hard to talk about singularily, they tend to mix together -creating family type structures in queertranspunk communities -majoring in queer-gender theory: accTsPx WORKSHOP see if you can decode my garbage notes in to a workshop big hit at parties and tr!nny summer camp TRANNY PUNK DEATH FUCK SUMMER CAMP 006 THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL NOTES. i am trying to write a motherfucking workshop in an hour and a half LINKS TO OLD MATERIALS THE TRANS PUNK UNDERGROUND CATASTROPHY NETWORK BUILDING COMMUNITEE AND MUTUAL AID PEER SUPPORT WHILE BEING A FUCKED UP LIL A-SOCIAL COUNTERCULTURE FALLOUT DIRT BAG AND ALSO TRANS last year two ago ! tranny con 2005 program origional workshop plan crap. complete itinerary of the trans punk perspective workshop 2005 old outdated attempt to explain the trans-punk equation that i never was happy with !! i can do better now but i dont have time. trans outsider identity rant that birthed the seeds of the workshop TRANNYS ARE PUNK DAEMONS fetishising evil trannys are tokens of the queers--- really old. man o man... the worst part of blogging is that you can go back 2 years ago and see how you used to be a lil more fucked up and dumb and uncertain... and that other people can see it too cuz its the internet. fortunatly... the internet is way to big to bother reading all yer year old crap... only the most devoted cyber stalker would try... unless you go posting links to it... eating some shitty lil kids lunch box !!! fuck fuck fuck fuck... i totally have no time to do this... i even stopped having sex on drugs with gunther for a night and sent him off to go get wasted and get in to fights with his dumb ass white trash drunk boys crew... i gotta pack a tent and do dishes... i got no times to plan this crap. eeeeek. i'll write it out on a napkin... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx new topics of discussion we came up with this year -counter culture is a ghetto -opression VS. outsider pride // the balance -mental illness as component to outsider status -am i fucked up cuz im trans or trans cuz im fucked up most of the above things are hard to talk about singularily, they tend to mix together -creating family type structures in queertranspunk communities -majoring in queer-gender theory: accademic allies are inaccessble and alienating -learning to like the non trans queers i was dissing a year ago. if you can understand my trans with out treating me weird we can be frineds. -punk or trans enuff ?? labels are bullshit. trans and punk are adjectives not nouns. you choose yer own involvment like tyler durden. BONUS QUESTIONS if we have time -what the fuck is tranarchy? -transGOTH ! -fuck punk, i am a poser hipster. -punk is dead, welcome the new psychedlic trans movement. -lets argue about what is and is not punk divide a white board down the middle right side is PUNK left is NOT PUNK this excercise is deliberatly supoose to be stupid. -tell a short story about how you came in to trans and punk +++++ self realisation and validity ===== communitee --- most TsPx kids got trasn punk simultaniously or used punk to support there trans. did anybuddy here get in to punk with trans as their gateway ? - i think thats the last of it... now i just gotta go through my other notes and i'll have an excellent and complete if not kinda jerry rigged total overview of the TsPxian philosophers stone. i will do the trans punk workshop at your conference or gay university thing in return for train fair and accomodation and my rider which will include beer, weed, a selection of cheese, maybe some different kinds of cookies, maybe a steak... and uh... cocain and icecream. cuz i'm selling out. <<--------------------------ENGLISH-------------------------------->> man o man... the worst part of blogging is that you can go back 2 years ago and see how you used to be a lil more fucked up and dumb and uncertain... and that other people can see it too cuz its the internet. fortunatly... the internet is way to big to bother reading all yer year old crap... only the most devoted cyber stalker would try... unless you go posting links to it... eating some shitty lil kids lunch box !!! fuck fuck fuck fuck... i totally have no time to do this... i even stopped having sex on drugs with gunther for a night and sent him off to go get wasted and get in to fights with his dumb ass white trash drunk boys crew... i gotta pack a tent and do dishes... i got no times to plan this crap. eeeeek.TsPx WORKSHOP see if you can decode my garbage notes in to a workshop big hit at parties and tr!nny summer camp TRANNY PUNK DEATH FUCK SUMMER CAMP 006 THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL NOTES. i am trying to write a motherfucking workshop in an hour and a half LINKS TO OLD MATERIALS THE TRANS PUNK UNDERGROUND CATASTROPHY NETWORK BUILDING COMMUNITEE AND MUTUAL AID PEER SUPPORT WHILE BEING A FUCKED UP LIL A-SOCIAL COUNTERCULTURE FALLOUT DIRT BAG AND ALSO TRANS last year two ago ! tranny con 2005 program origional workshop plan crap. complete itinerary of the trans punk perspective workshop 2005 old outdated attempt to explain the trans-punk equation that i never was happy with !! i can do better now but i dont have time. trans outsider identity rant that birthed the seeds of the workshop TRANNYS ARE PUNK DAEMONS fetishising evil trannys are tokens of the queers--- really old. man o man... the worst part of blogging is that you can go back 2 years ago and see how you used to be a lil more fucked up and dumb and uncertain... and that other people can see it too cuz its the internet. fortunatly... the internet is way to big to bother reading all yer year old crap... only the most devoted cyber stalker would try... unless you go posting links to it... eating some shitty lil kids lunch box !!! fuck fuck fuck fuck... i totally have no time to do this... i even stopped having sex on drugs with gunther for a night and sent him off to go get wasted and get in to fights with his dumb ass white trash drunk boys crew... i gotta pack a tent and do dishes... i got no times to plan this crap. eeeeek. i'll write it out on a napkin... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx new topics of discussion we came up with this year -counter culture is a ghetto -opression VS. outsider pride // the balance -mental illness as component to outsider status -am i fucked up cuz im trans or trans cuz im fucked up most of the above things are hard to talk about singularily, they tend to mix together -creating family type structures in queertranspunk communities -majoring in queer-gender theory: accademic allies are inaccessble and alienating -learning to like the non trans queers i was dissing a year ago. if you can understand my trans with out treating me weird we can be frineds. -punk or trans enuff ?? labels are bullshit. trans and punk are adjectives not nouns. you choose yer own involvment like tyler durden. BONUS QUESTIONS if we have time -what the fuck is tranarchy? -transGOTH ! -fuck punk, i am a poser hipster. -punk is dead, welcome the new psychedlic trans movement. -lets argue about what is and is not punk divide a white board down the middle right side is PUNK left is NOT PUNK this excercise is deliberatly supoose to be stupid. -tell a short story about how you came in to trans and punk +++++ self realisation and validity ===== communitee --- most TsPx kids got trasn punk simultaniously or used punk to support there trans. did anybuddy here get in to punk with trans as their gateway ? - i think thats the last of it... now i just gotta go through my other notes and i'll have an excellent and complete if not kinda jerry rigged total overview of the TsPxian philosophers stone. i will do the trans punk workshop at your conference or gay university thing in return for train fair and accomodation and my rider which will include beer, weed, a selection of cheese, maybe some different kinds of cookies, maybe a steak... and uh... cocain and icecream. cuz i'm selling out. <<--------------------------ENGLISH-------------------------------->> man o man... the worst part of blogging is that you can go back 2 years ago and see how you used to be a lil more fucked up and dumb and uncertain... and that other people can see it too cuz its the internet. fortunatly... the internet is way to big to bother reading all yer year old crap... only the most devoted cyber stalker would try... unless you go posting links to it... eating some shitty lil kids lunch box !!! fuck fuck fuck fuck... i totally have no time to do this... i even stopped having sex on drugs with gunther for a night and sent him off to go get wasted and get in to fights with his dumb ass white trash drunk boys crew... i gotta pack a tent and do dishes... i got no times to plan this crap. eeeeek. i'll write it out on a napkin... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx new topics of discussion we came up with this year -counter culture is a ghetto -opression VS. outsider pride // the balance -mental illness as component to outsider status -am i fucked up cuz im trans or trans cuz im fucked up most of the above things are hard to talk about singularily, they tend to mix together -creating family type structures in queertranspunk communities -majoring in queer-gender theory: accademic allies are inaccessble and alienating -learning to like the non trans queers i was dissing a year ago. if you can understand my trans with out treating me weird we can be frineds. -punk or trans enuff ?? labels are bullshit. trans and punk are adjectives not nouns. you choose yer own involvment like tyler durden. BONUS QUESTIONS if we have time -what the fuck is tranarchy? -transGOTH ! -fuck punk, i am a poser hipster. -punk is dead, welcome the new psychedlic trans movement. -lets argue about what is and is not punk divide a white board down the middle right side is PUNK left is NOT PUNK this excercise is deliberatly supoose to be stupid. -tell a short story about how you came in to trans and punk +++++ self realisation and validity ===== communitee --- most TsPx kids got trasn punk simultaniously or used punk to support there trans. did anybuddy here get in to punk with trans as their gateway ? - i think thats the last of it... now i just gotta go through my other notes and i'll have an excellent and complete if not kinda jerry rigged total overview of the TsPxian philosophers stone. i will do the trans punk workshop at your conference or gay university thing in return for train fair and accomodation and my rider which will include beer, weed, a selection of cheese, maybe some different kinds of cookies, maybe a steak... and uh... cocain and icecream. cuz i'm selling out. i'll write it out on a napkin... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx new topics of discussion we came up with this year -counter culture is a ghetto -opression VS. outsider pride // the balance -mental illness as component to outsider status -am i fucked up cuz im trans or trans cuz im fucked up most of the above things are hard to talk about singularily, they tend to mix together -creating family type structures in queertranspunk communities -majoring in queer-gender theory: accademic allies are inaccessble and alienating -learning to like the non trans queers i was dissing a year ago. if you can understand my trans with out treating me weird we can be frineds. -punk or trans enuff ?? labels are bullshit. trans and punk are adjectives not nouns. you choose yer own involvment like tyler durden. BONUS QUESTIONS if we have time -what the fuck is tranarchy? -transGOTH ! -fuck punk, i am a poser hipster. -punk is dead, welcome the new psychedlic trans movement. -lets argue about what is and is not punk divide a white board down the middle right side is PUNK left is NOT PUNK this excercise is deliberatly supoose to be stupid. -tell a short story about how you came in to trans and punk +++++ self realisation and validity ===== communitee --- most TsPx kids got trasn punk simultaniously or used punk to support there trans. did anybuddy here get in to punk with trans as their gateway ? - i think thats the last of it... now i just gotta go through my other notes and i'll have an excellent and complete if not kinda jerry rigged total overview of the TsPxian philosophers stone. i will do the trans punk workshop at your conference or gay university thing in return for train fair and accomodation and my rider which will include beer, weed, a selection of cheese, maybe some different kinds of cookies, maybe a steak... and uh... cocain and icecream. cuz i'm selling out.ademic allies are inaccessble and alienating -learning to like the non trans queers i was dissing a year ago. if you can understand my trans with out treating me weird we can be frineds. -punk or trans enuff ?? labels are bullshit. trans and punk are adjectives not nouns. you choose yer own involvment like tyler durden. BONUS QUESTIONS if we have time -what the fuck is tranarchy? -transGOTH ! -fuck punk, i am a poser hipster. -punk is dead, welcome the new psychedlic trans movement. -lets argue about what is and is not punk divide a white board down the middle right side is PUNK left is NOT PUNK this excercise is deliberatly supoose to be stupid. -tell a short story about how you came in to trans and punk +++++ self realisation and validity ===== communitee --- most TsPx kids got trasn punk simultaniously or used punk to support there trans. did anybuddy here get in to punk with trans as their gateway ? - i think thats the last of it... now i just gotta go through my other notes and i'll have an excellent and complete if not kinda jerry rigged total overview of the TsPxian philosophers stone. i will do the trans punk workshop at your conference or gay university thing in return for train fair and accomodation and my rider which will include beer, weed, a selection of cheese, maybe some different kinds of cookies, maybe a steak... and uh... cocain and icecream. cuz i'm selling out. <<--------------------------ENGLISH-------------------------------->> man o man... the worst part of blogging is that you can go back 2 years ago and see how you used to be a lil more fucked up and dumb and uncertain... and that other people can see it too cuz its the internet. fortunatly... the internet is way to big to bother reading all yer year old crap... only the most devoted cyber stalker would try... unless you go posting links to it... eating some shitty lil kids lunch box !!! fuck fuck fuck fuck... i totally have no time to do this... i even stopped having sex on drugs with gunther for a night and sent him off to go get wasted and get in to fights with his dumb ass white trash drunk boys crew... i gotta pack a tent and do dishes... i got no times to plan this crap. eeeeek. i'll write it out on a napkin... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx new topics of discussion we came up with this year -counter culture is a ghetto -opression VS. outsider pride // the balance -mental illness as component to outsider status -am i fucked up cuz im trans or trans cuz im fucked up most of the above things are hard to talk about singularily, they tend to mix together -creating family type structures in queertranspunk communities -majoring in queer-gender theory: accademic allies are inaccessble and alienating -learning to like the non trans queers i was dissing a year ago. if you can understand my trans with out treating me weird we can be frineds. -punk or trans enuff ?? labels are bullshit. trans and punk are adjectives not nouns. you choose yer own involvment like tyler durden. BONUS QUESTIONS if we have time -what the fuck is tranarchy? -transGOTH ! -fuck punk, i am a poser hipster. -punk is dead, welcome the new psychedlic trans movement. -lets argue about what is and is not punk divide a white board down the middle right side is PUNK left is NOT PUNK this excercise is deliberatly supoose to be stupid. -tell a short story about how you came in to trans and punk +++++ self realisation and validity ===== communitee --- most TsPx kids got trasn punk simultaniously or used punk to support there trans. did anybuddy here get in to punk with trans as their gateway ? - i think thats the last of it... now i just gotta go through my other notes and i'll have an excellent and complete if not kinda jerry rigged total overview of the TsPxian philosophers stone. i will do the trans punk workshop at your conference or gay university thing in return for train fair and accomodation and my rider which will include beer, weed, a selection of cheese, maybe some different kinds of cookies, maybe a steak... and uh... cocain and icecream. cuz i'm selling out.

Friday, June 20, 2014


An absorbing autobiography of a transsexual

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The Woman I Was Not Born To Be

A Transsexual Journey

Aleshia Brevard

cloth 1-56639-839-8 $89.50, Feb 01, Available
paper 1-56639-840-1 $28.95, Feb 01, Available
Electronic Book 1-43990-527-4 $28.95 Available
272 pp 6x9 17 halftones

"...an entertaining and heartfelt journey from male to female, ostracism to acceptance, and obscurity to fame. ... Aleshia Brevard's journey is a brilliant, gutsy, and insightful look at a life simultaneously marginalized and in the spotlight."
—Lambda Book Report

Told with humor and flair, this is the autobiography of one transsexual's wild ride from boyhood as Alfred Brevard ("Buddy") Crenshaw in rural Tennessee to voluptuous female entertainer in Hollywood. Aleshia Brevard, as she is now known, underwent transitional surgery in Los Angeles in 1962, one of the first such operations in the United States. (The famous sexual surgery pioneer Harry Benjamin himself broke the news to Brevard's parents.)

Under the stage name Lee Shaw, Brevard worked as a drag queen at Finocchio's, a San Francisco club, doing Marilyn Monroe impersonations. (Like Marilyn, she sought romance all the time and had a string of entanglements with men.) Later, she worked as a stripper in Reno and as a Playboy Bunny at the Sunset Strip hutch.

After playing opposite Don Knotts in the movie The Love God, Brevard appeared in other films and broke into TV as a regular on the Red Skelton Show. She created the role of Tex on the daytime soap opera One Life To Live. As a woman, Brevard returned to teach theater at East Tennessee State, the same university she had attended as a boy.

This memoir is a rare pre-Women's Movement account of coming to terms with gender identity. Brevard writes frankly about the degree to which she organized her life around pleasing men, and how absurd it all seems to her now.
 

Excerpt

Excerpt available at www.temple.edu/tempress


 

Reviews

"The Woman I Was not Born to Be is not the kind of book one really expects from an academic press: no statistics, no elaborate theoretical structure. Nor is it the story of people whom history has utterly ignored. Mocked, crucified, tortured, and jailed, yes; ignored, no. But I'm glad Temple University Press chose to publish it: in academia as in real life, a reasonably well-adjusted, kind-hearted woman who was born male is not so common."
—Amy Bloom, Wilson Quarterly

"Brevard's story adds an entertaining curve to the growing body of literature—academic scientific, theoretical and literary—on transgendered experience, without the self-pity or sentimentality found in many such memoirs....Written in a gossipy style reminiscent of 1950's movie-star autobiographies (which at heart, it is)."
—Publishers Weekly

"Aleshia Brevard's transformation from an awkward southern boy to Hollywood B-movie starlet is one of the most amazing tales I've ever read. It's filled with madcap adventures, sexual escapades, hart-breaking pain, great loves and great losses. This is a beautiful book, written with a glittering charm and humor and wisdom."
—Jonathan Ames, author of The Extra Man

"Alfred 'Buddy' Crenshaw hailed from rural Tennessee and eventually worked in San Francisco's famous nightclub Finocchio's as drag diva Lee Shaw. … He was a smash but found life schizoid because the 'real' world demanded that he dress and act as a man. Wanting to be accepted as a woman at all times, he resorted to self-castration in the early days of transgender surgery. Finally, after hormone therapy, he underwent the surgical sexual reassignment that allowed him to become Aleshia Brevard, the buxom b-movie actress he had presumably always felt he was."
—Whitney Scott for Booklist

"Aleshia's reflective nature delves deep into the heart of what it means to be gender dysphori; whether exploring that grey area between drag and transsexuality, the angst over whether or not to disclose one's past to new acquaintances, or the daily obstacles of suddenly becoming, what was at the time, the second class gender. Her memoir nicely documents the world of pre-Stonewall drag and transformation, as well as the early reassignment surgery and their painful procedures including primitive dilators and self-castrations (it was illegal for doctors to remove testicles). But Aleshia maintains her ever healthy, punditty perspective throughout:

As the doctor packed and repacked my new vagina, they crammed enough cotton padding inside me to resurrect the plantation system in at least two Delta states! The Old south might rise again, but I never world."

—Aaron Jason for Lambda Book Report

"Aleshia Brevard has gone from man to woman and from drag performer to B-movie star, but her most arduous journey has been her lifelong quest for independence."
—The Advocate
 

Visit www.AleshiaBrevard.com.


 

Contents

1. Just for a Change
2. Farm Boy
3. Drag Queen
4. A Man in the House
5. Alfred, Adieu
6. The Coed
7. Burlesque Queen
8. Miss Congeniality
9. Call Me Mrs.
10. Teacher! Teacher!
11. A Playboy Bunny
12. That Female Bunch
13. Fashion’s Guru
14. Off-Broadway Baby
15. A Faceless Intruder
16. Mother’s Final gift
17. The Finished Produce
Index


 

About the Author(s)

Aleshia Brevard continues to be active in theater as an actress and director.


Subject Categories

Gender Studies
Biography/Memoir/Autobiography

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